Summer is knocking, I've a flu & I'm tired.

I've hit a roadblock. It's not the first time but yeah this one refuses to budge. Or it's like a wall where you have to drive around to go on to the other side. Last couple of months went in a blur. I've never been so happy, depressed and psyched at the same time! It's a strange feeling. This will probably be my most pouring it all out kind of entry. I can't talk to anyone so talking to myself on this blog feels good. I did get a few emails and messages on facebook pointing out my last entry was ages ago. And I think writing would be the best right now for me. So here I am..

There are a lot of things happening around. I turned 22 around 3 months ago and find myself still stuck to things that probably only 18 year olds do. It's all too confusing. I can't help myself. But the best part is I know something is wrong. I realize that for a start. But the problems and the issues are like a playlist on an iPod. After one gets over or I think I've a solution for something another problem props up. And the playlist seems long. I don't have the patience. People around me whom I love, like my family and friends are there but I'm afraid to approach them. Anyways I know they can't help as well. I need to sort myself out. Nobody can help but myself. I'm so psyched and I feel am not making sense right now. But I'll get out of it I know. When and how is the question. Little things too many of them become a lot and the water gets above the head. Above all there is something inside me for a long time which I've failed to get it off my chest resulting in this psy state now. Sad. And bad. Pity me. Sigh. Hell no! I know I'll get out of it. This something is eating me slowly and surely. There are a few things I can't help doing and end up not exactly regretting but yeah thinking I would be probably better off not doing them. Oh yeah, that's regretting in itself! I'm down but not out. I'm losing the battle but the war is mine. Big nice philosophical words to prep yourself up. It's all a face behind which people like me hide. For the time being at least.

I felt good writing this short nonsense piece of an entry. It was like letting it out a little than deprive myself some much needed sleep. I'm fine, I'll be fine. Until next time, Cheers & hopefully no more tears!